Reflecting on 27
I’m a few days away from my 28th birthday and it’s got me reflecting on the past year. So many things, good and bad, have happened and I decided that deserved a blog post. Not so much for readers as much as I think it’s a good time to pause and think about what has changed in 12 months time.
From the outside, I’m sure it looked great. 27 began with my boyfriend (now husband) proposing and whisking me away to a surprise celebratory/birthday party on a downtown rooftop in Lexington (KY). I left my 9-5 to take on self-employed life at the end of that month, I traveled to exciting places and then as we entered 2020, we found out we’d be moving to NYC! Wow! Incredible opportunities, major life moments, crazy, right?
Then Darrell and our pup moved to the big city, I transitioned to living with my sister and brother-in-law since all my furniture was packed onto the moving truck at the same time as Darrell’s, and the pre-wedding festivities began. We barely made it through my bachelorette party and final shower when bam - a global pandemic hit. Our wedding was cancelled and we made the decision to get married in my sister and brother-in-law’s living room. It was an overcast, slightly drizzly day and we had to Facebook live it so our guests could “attend” but we made the most of it. We spent a month after the wedding living out of my sister and brother-in-law’s guest room and then decided it was time to go to NYC.
NYC didn’t quite work out so we made the leap to South Carolina. Now we live in a beautiful, spacious apartment and love the comforts of suburban life in the southeast.
But behind the highlight reel, there were a lot of super low moments. Honestly, this past year has shown me some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life. Not everything is intended to be shared for the masses on social media and I don’t feel like it’s anyone’s business, nor am I “required” to share every detail of the bad just because I choose to share some parts of my life. But I will say that this year has taught me so much about myself, about life, about God.
I’ve spent the last few days pondering, reflecting… and it brought me to tears a few times. I think sometimes it is easier to push away parts of life so that we don’t have to “think” about them anymore. But they’re usually not things you can truly forget and I think a healthy amount of reflection is helpful. Thinking back over the difficult decisions and the failure and the disappointment makes me feel crummy at first but then I realize what I have learned in that time, how I’ve grown from those experiences, and what I gained going through those events.
Twenty-seven can best be summed up as my year of taking risks. Calculated risks. But even the most caculated risks aren’t guaranteed to turn out as you expected. (As I found out!)
Takeaways / Lessons Learned
Counseling is so good. Like SO GOOD. Chicken soup for the soul, good.
You find out who your friends are. When you find them, hold on tight. Pour into them. Show up. Put others first and love them good.
When it’s all burning down, just cling to your fiance/spouse and pray. Take it all to God. Don’t worry about anyone earthside. Everyone is going to have an opinion but it doesn’t mean you have to listen.
Lean into routine and the mundane. It can be super lifegiving if you let it.
It’s okay to feel disappointed but don’t forget to appreciate your blessings. If you stay disappointed for too long, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.
God loves me. Like He really loves me. And He wants a relationship with me. Spending time with Him in the mornings changes my days, and in turn is changing my life.
I’m ready to kiss 27 goodbye. I’m not sure what 28 has in store but I am ready to walk into a new year knowing it’s a clean slate. A fresh start. Isn’t it sweet that we have these opportunities to start over? You don’t have to wait for a birthday or for the ball to drop. You can start in the morning. On Monday. On the first of the month. Or the next hour.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. - Psalm 51:10-12