Life Lately - March 2021
Anyone else feel like 2021 has already been a wild ride?? I don’t imagine people really “keep up” with how often I blog or don’t blog, but I’ll say I haven’t posted as much in the last few months as I was posting last year. Here’s a little update on what I’ve been up to lately.
We recently embarked on a couple different journeys… Some might call us crazy for multitasking to this extreme, but I think you’ll see how they’re related.
Contentment Challenge / Debt Challenge
First up, we started Nancy Ray’s Contentment Challenge. This is a three-month challenge to seek God and not stuff, in its essence. You’re prompted to create your rules or guidelines and for three months challenge yourself to be content with what you have. Listen to this episode of her podcast to learn what it’s about.
I first heard about this challenge last summer when I discovered Nancy’s podcast, Work and Play with Nancy Ray, (I’m late to the party - it’s such a great podcast) and would binge-listen to episodes while taking long afternoon walks in NYC. Giving up shopping sounded like a humbling challenge but something I didn’t see myself doing. Time went on and I began discussing it with Darrell around the holidays. I shared the podcast episodes with him to learn more about it and he binged them on the flight back from our third-attempt at a honeymoon. In a two-part series of episodes, Nancy interviews a listener who extended the challenge for a FULL YEAR. (Part 1, Part 2) This listener and her husband took it up ANOTHER NOTCH and added a debt challenge, paying off a significant amount of debt in one year, saying “no” to unnecessary purchases, AND financially giving to others through it all! We were truly inspired and began discussing parameters for our own challenge.
It became clear to us that 3 months didn’t seem long enough to change our ways long-term (just knowing ourselves), and one year seemed like a stretch. But we really REALLY wanted to attempt a full year. We had a lot of great conversations, prayed about it a lot and came to the conclusion that a six month challenge, followed by a short “break” and another six month challenge would be the best way for us to get serious and hopefully make lasting changes to our purchasing habits, budgeting, debt and financial health.
What does this challenge entail?
I’m happy to do a longer post maybe recapping how it went at the end of at least part one of the challenge but here’s the Cliff Notes version: (And keep in mind our rules won’t be the same as someone else’s) We cut out any unnecessary shopping (there are parameters to determine what’s “necessary”), we severely limit dining out (lots of rules around this), we cut almost all of our entertainment spending and have rules around income outside of the norm as well as unexpected income. We also put some parameters around things like social media which tend to heavily tempt us to spend. We made a plan for gift giving, travel, holidays, our anniversary and birthdays. We’re doing a devotional and also have a few people we email called our “accountability team” each month. This is just how we’re doing the challenge, it’s not verbatim of how the original challenge works. We’re doing this for six months and we have a list of things we want to purchase that we can reevaluate on the break we’ll take between the first six month challenge and the second six month challenge which follow close behind the first challenge by a week or two. (Still to be determined.) We’ll also revise, if necessary, our rules and guidelines over the break. The goal is to find joy in what we have, not what we lack. To learn to be content. To remember from whom our blessings flow. And to use the money saved to pay off our debts.
Why are we doing the Contentment Challenge / Debt Challenge?
A few reasons.
One - We see that a major change needs to be made. If we continue down the path we’re on, we’ll be carrying this debt for quite a while. We are blessed to no longer owe on our car and we’ve been chipping away at the other debt, but at a much slower pace.
Two - Beyond the debt, it was clear our relationship with things had gotten out of hand. Amazon subscriptions, little purchases to feel better here and there. We’ve all done it. Especially during the pandemic.
Three - We want to buy a house, and goodness it hurts to think about the fact Darrell HAD a house and really all the things we used to have before giving it all up for a dream of NYC life… But our spending habits didn’t reflect that desire.
And four - we want to start a family. So buying a home and starting a family would be greatly helped with healthier finances.
What better motivators than those?? It definitely helps having a really clear “why” when working our way though this challenge.
Daily Reminder
These motivators are also an important part of why we feel the need to refocus our eyes and our attention on Jesus. As Christians, it is clear how our debt is much like our sin. I’m reminded of the sweet gift of salvation so much through this challenge. We wanted a visual representation of our debt to be a daily reminder. We had a few different ideas but ended up making a paper chain which is hung throughout the main part of our apartment. Our “debt chain.” Because debt really is like a big chain holding you back. Each link represents a certain dollar amount and at the end of the month we cut off the links representing how much debt we’ve paid off. We write memories and things we’re grateful for from that month and keep the “broken” chains to reflect at the end of the challenge.
The Epiphany
It started off with quite the bang, when we had a major realization the day before the challenge kicked off. While sitting down to hash out all of the details in writing (the rules, guidelines, and accountability plan) we wrote out every trip we could possibly take in the first six month challenge. This was surprising. We’d never done anything like this and usually held the attitude that “we’ll figure it out.” The problem with that way of thinking is that it’s not a plan and it’s a recipe for debt. So we listed every trip. We made extremely difficult decisions on what would be cut. Because it couldn’t all happen and not add to the debt in some way. And then we looked at what remained. It occurred to us, if we are constantly driving to Kentucky and we can’t imagine missing the events on this list, what would the second six month challenge look like? And beyond that? If we didn’t think it was feasible, what could say no to? We went back to the list. We were both so adamant that nothing else could be cut. We didn’t want to miss out on the family moments, the memories. So then the question became well what’s the solution?? This turned into a full day’s discussion. It was clear where we really wanted to be was Kentucky. With our families. Once we accepted that, our conversation became “what else would going back change?” The answer? A whole lot of things.
Let me say this wasn’t a decision based solely off the fact that it would eliminate a lot of travel, although that’s how God opened our eyes - But behind the scenes, there have been several conversations about the future and while all of those conversations focused on where we currently live, not KY, it was eye-opening (I don’t know how else to put it) that moving back was the OBVIOUS solution to a whole slew of discussions we had. More to come on this later, but by the way, I’m job searching in the Central Kentucky area or remote if you know of anything! ;) Darrell’s got his job part covered, thankfully.
How’s the Contentment/Debt Challenge going?
We’re a little over two months into the challenge and we are in amazement of the work God has done in our hearts and our finances. It is not the “fun” thing to do or the easy thing to do, but I believe it is worthwhile. We send a monthly recap email updating our accountability team on our progress, our struggles, any slip-ups and the takeaways. If you have questions about the challenge, send me a message - I'd love to do a Q&A post later on!
Health Coaching
As if cutting ourselves off from spending and getting crazy serious about paying off debt isn’t enough for one year, we started working with a health coach! Yeah, really! We were able to get this covered by health insurance because of some of Darrell’s and his doctor’s goals for his health. (If you’re curious about utilizing your insurance for something like this, send me a DM on Instagram - happy to share more!) We both have some big goals regarding improving our health this year and after several attempts together in the past, we knew accountability outside of the two of us would be key.
Why did we start working with a health coach?
Darrell needs to lower his cholesterol. I need to make some health changes to prepare my body for babies. We both desperately need to reduce our sugar intake (read: kick sugar addiction) and make exercise a regular part of our lives. So many times we have gone full steam ahead only to lose momentum as soon as a vacation or holiday or stressful work situation arises. Then we lose all sense of control for a few months until we’re completely disgusted with ourselves and vow to get back on track. The cycle has continued our entire relationship. And personally, way beyond that. I would imagine Darrell would say the same. So we’ve been on the look out, I guess you could say, for a different approach. Enter Liz.
Finding a Health Coach
I “met” Liz through Instagram because she was one of my first Grace & Grandeur customers!! Over the past few months we discovered we have quite a few things in common!! Liz is so down to earth and I freaking love her commentary on pop culture, her family, and everything else. So when I learned about Liz’s health coaching services, I knew I wanted to learn more. I did a discovery call with Liz and filled in Darrell that evening. He was on board. We started a three month program with Liz around the second week of February and we’ve absolutely loved working with her! Liz is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach / Certified Holistic Health Coach and she holds a diploma from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.
How’s health coaching going?
We’re a little over a month in and so far it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve done Weight Watchers and Noom, along with general on-my-own tracking and exercise, and even attempted Beachbody’s 21 day fix, and I’m not dissing any of them, but I can say that working with a CERTIFIED health coach with a bespoke plan, has been the best possible avenue for me. The personal accountability is critical, but even more important is the plan tailored to my specific health journey. When Darrell and I decided at the end of 2020 that we wanted to make a big change in how we approached our health we felt it was very important to find someone that could work 1-on-1 (or is it 1-on-2?) with us to take into account our health histories and goals as they relate to one another. We wanted to do this as a team. It’s been so good to be going through this together and have a plan that understands our unique dietary situation as a couple.
We’re making changes to what we eat and do in a way that is slow and small but reasonable to maintain. Slow and steady progress! Lifestyle change, not a diet.
And it’s not called “coaching” for nothing! Liz is such a great coach - she keeps us on our toes and makes sure we are challenged but there’s no judgement! I love the holistic approach because she’s already been able to get to the root of so much of what’s previously held me back. You can visit her website here: Liz Vandy Health Coach. Follow Liz on IG here.
Wrapping Up
So I guess I’ve spilled the beans… we’re going back to our Old Kentucky Home! 👀 Nothing like a few casual moves around the eastern part of the country to show you where you’re supposed to be! And we’re hoping / dreaming / planning to start our family in the near future. Eeekkkk! I’m sharing these tidbits now and in this way because well, I’ve done the moving announcement post thing twice now and I just don’t feel like doing it that way this time. And about family planning.. Maybe I can just eliminate some questions from inquiring minds? I didn’t share about the contentment/debt challenge or health coaching when we first began because I’m not doing it for the blog content or for appearances. I wanted to wait until we got into a good rhythm before divulging much. I’m choosing to share now because I want to connect with others in similar challenges or who might also be making important changes to prep for babies, saving for a house, or other goals!
Choose Your Hard
There was a post going around on Facebook last year, I think in the fall. It said something along the lines of “being healthy is hard, being unhealthy is hard, choose your hard. Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, choose your hard. etc. etc. etc.” Well Darrell and I really like that. It’s become a little thing we say, “Choose your hard.” when we start wanting to give up on something we really want. It’s so true though. We choose every day. It’s your decision. Either way it’s going to be hard but you have to choose regardless. We each took some time between Christmas and New Years to dream, plan and set goals for ourselves and our marriage in 2021. I wouldn’t call them resolutions. I think I had more than a page of typed notes about things I wanted to plan out for this year. I’m really we choose hard things like paying off debt and cleaning up our health, more specifically that we found tools, resources, people to help us. Otherwise, it would be a page full of wishes. I’m proud of myself (and Darrell) for making a plan of action, beyond setting a goal. That’s something I’ve not always succeeded in doing personally. That sort of thing comes easier in like a work setting for me. But to personally stick to these plans is a big win.
What are your goals for 2021? How are you doing with your goals so far?